Opening Day!

Opening day is October 1st!  That is one week form Saturday!  I am so excited and feel so blessed, REALLY, to be able to do exactly what I want to do!  How awesome is that?!?!!

I've been stressing over little things like white walls, delayed shipments, running out of time (and money), etc.  And all of these things are super important, don't get me wrong; this is a business, and I plan for it to be a very profitable one.  But I just stopped today while the kids were napping to gather myself and re-group for a few minutes...to listen for a second instead of doing all the talking (and doing)...and I realized, that's not what is important to me in the scheme of things with The Mommy Shop.

It won't be perfect.  And that is exactly what will make it perfect. 

Just like us, and just like our littles!  We're not perfect, but in all of our imperfection we SO are!

We do the best we can all day, every day.  It's never all done, ever.  There's always something undone, half done or forgotten-to-be done!  But it's still incredible!

That's part of being a Mommy.  And it is sure to be part of The Mommy Shop!

That makes me happy!

Off We Go!

So, I have been absent for quite some time...and with good reason!!  Life is treating me GOOD, y'all!!  The babies are sweeter and better than ever!  A perfect age (as though I'm not going to say that at EVERY age!!)

I have been as busy as a bee working on yet another dream come true!!  God is good to me, you know!! 

I am so excited about my next journey to open The Mommy Shop!  Those of you who know me well, know that I've GOT to have something going at all times.  My vision board says "Life in the Slow Lane" really big....but who am I kidding??  If I don't have something big and exciting going on, I will create it.  Apparently, that quote is meant for later in life!  :)

I have labored and lobored over the decision about the store.  I've gone back and forth more times than I care to admit.  I wanted to be 1000% sure I was doing the right thing for my family.  They come first all the time, no matter what.  I want to be fair to them in every aspect, and obviously it will effect us in many aspects and will require a lot of adjustment.  I think we'll all be just fine.  And at the end of the day, with a happier Momma, I know it will be a win/win!

I'm stoked!  I'm know I'm a little crazy, but I think that had already been established, so off we go!!

Wish me luck!  Lots of prayers!  Come shop!  And tell your friends!!

She's A Big Deal!

I'm back!

And with good reason!  We've got something to celebrate today!! 

My baby girl is walking!!  She's toddling all over the house in her little dress that her Aunt Julie got her.  The little beauty queen!!

She is SO proud, but not nearly as proud as I am of her!  She knows she's kind of a big a deal!  LOL!!  She couldn't be more right!!  We can't wait to show Daddy and Luke!  They will be super proud of her, too!

....and hopefully this will bring me back to my blogging.  It's been sort of a long 3 months....and I'll leave it at that.  For now.  ;)

Thought for the day....

"The moment we identify ourselves with a thought, we wear it like a costume and lose ourselves in a scenario."
 - Jason Mraz



Remember, that's all they are.  Thoughts. 

They are not your essence. 

They are not your soul. 

But they are powerful. 

So make them good.

Choose them wisely.

And know that you are deeply loved. 

Time

"There’s never enough time." 

This was the wisdom spoken to me by a truly amazing mother as we gazed down together at the child she just lost.

There’s never enough time.

There’s never enough time to spend with our babies.  There’s never enough hugs, enough kisses, enough snuggles.  Never, ever, EVER enough time.

We cannot tell them too much or too often how wonderful we think they are.  Because they are.

Shameless adoration. 

I don’t know much, but what I know for sure is that Jason left this earth happy.  He was happy; he felt deeply loved; he felt accepted, completely and unconditionally. 

He had a gift for making everyone else feel the same way…I really just can’t think of anything that would make me happier as a Mom than to know that my child made people feel this way.  At the end of the day, we all just want to feel special and valued.  Jason served his purpose on this earth by doing just that.  I find it remarkable that at the tender age of 16, he touched so many lives in a way that most of us will not do in an entire lifetime.

I mourn him deeply.  But this fact makes my heart smile.  He always made me smile.  He always made me feel special and he always made me feel loved.

He was a bright and shining star.  He was a luminary, no doubt.  He was one of a kind, and dangerously similar to his Mother!  J

I will miss him.  And every morsel of my being aches for my dear, sweet Connie.

Be Nice!!!

So, yesterday the kids and I ventured out to Target.  Luke had been under the weather, but I admittedly am no good at all at staying in the house all day.  I knew a lot of playing was out of the question for him, and Sissy needed a new swimsuit, so we chose to go to Target!

I popped Lyle in the front-packer, put Luke in the buggy and in we went.  We ran into (seriously) like four people we knew in Target.  So, what normally would take us an hour, took two, which was great.  We saw friends, bought swimsuits, nightgowns, shoes and groceries.  (Target:  the one-stop wonder!  I really should have my own wing there.) 

The kids both did great - never gave me a problem at all.  So I decided to take them down to Panera for lunch.  (Who am I kidding?  They ate chips the whole way through Target.  They weren’t hungry.  I decided to take Mommy to Panera, who currently has my favorite salad, and the kids were just eye candy and good company.)

Well, I knew I was pushing my luck.  It was past noon by now.  Lunch is at 11:00 at our house and nap is usually around 12:30.  But off we went.  Momma was hungry!  I decided to pack all the Target goods, groceries and all, into the car, and we would walk down to Panera.  (I have one of those “cool bags” that keeps your groceries cold, which I highly recommend to any mommy with more than one child, because if you can’t get to the unloading of the groceries immediately when you get home, they can wait.)  Anyway, we make it to Panera where we run into yet another friend, which I have not seen in YEARS!  I was very excited to catch up!

We went to order our food, where there was surprisingly no line.  I was so happy that this ordering thing would be short and sweet, and we could get back to the table, get the kids all set up and start gabbing away.  So, I am not kidding, there were FIVE people behind the counter at Panera, shuffling back and forth, back and forth.  They would glance over at us and go about their business.  Well, I was a little anxious to get these kids at the table.  Lyla had been in the front-packer, killing my back, for over two hours, and I was just thankful Luke had made it all the way down to Panera without darting out into the parking lot.  I knew my time was limited, and my luck could run out with the corresponding exceptional behavior of these two at any minute.

So, I give a (bitchy) look in the direction of the other side of the counter and say, not even remotely under my breath, “Are we invisible here?  What is the deal??!” 

Ummmm….I forgot my pivotal pause.  Apparently, that was a trigger moment for me.  Ohhhhhh….me and my patience, or lack thereof! 

They happily (yea right) came to take our order.  I was really nice because I always am (well...), and because I felt just terrible!  I really did.  I was that bitchy lady at Panera!!  It was as if I was pregnant again! 

We went to our table, got it together with the generous help of my friend who is the awesome mother of four (yes, four!), and started gabbing away mindlessly.  And then…the nicest thing.  One of the employees to whom I was so mean, came over to our table, placed a big, fat, round M&M cookie (that just happens to be my Little Man’s fave)on the edge of our table and said, “Here you go ma’am.  That’s so you know you’re never invisible to us.”

Okay, hole in the ground….could you please open up and swallow me now??  OMG!  Uh, yea.  I felt terrible.  I felt so terrible.  I must have said thank you 10 times.  The crappy thing is:  I never said I was sorry.  He knew I meant it.  But I never said it out loud.  Not my finest moment at the Panera Bread yesterday.

All this to say, I am sooooooooooo glad my kids were too little to realize what a loser their Mommy was yesterday.  Gosh!  Having kids kinda makes you realize how flawed you are, huh?  After 30-something years of thinking I was the shizzle….not so much!  LOL! 

Okay.  Note to self:  Be nice!!!!!!!!!!

Just a Little Under the Weather

My Little Man is sick.  Croup. 

Mommy is sad. 

He's not too terribly bad.  I've seen him worse.  But the fire isn't in him.  Some would think this to be a good thing, and I enjoyed it for an hour or two, but I love my high-spirited boy!  He's sharing, snuggling, watching videos....all the stuff I wish on a daily basis he would do, so I'm trying to enjoy it as much as I can...and put a positive spin on it.  But I want him well.  I want my Little Man back!

It's certainly no fun when they're sick. 

He has to use a nebulizer for the croup, which Daddy does for him.  One look at him with that mask on his face, hooked up to a machine to help him breathe and my heart literally ached for all the parents out there with really sick kids...something they won't recover from quite so easily, or perhaps not at all.  So thankful.  So, so thankful...

And there are really no words for that.

Work day?

Today was a work day…and by that I mean a day off! 

It’s so nice to have this rest day in the middle of the week.  I get to sit at a desk all day and “work” away!!  I get to take bathroom breaks all by myself.  Need to make a phone call?  No problem!  Pick that phone up, woman!  Heels, big fat necklace and droopy earrings - I really love you!!  It’s 9:15pm and the makeup I put on this morning at 7:15 is still on!!  And yes, my brain actually has something in there other than lyrics to songs I (seriously!!) never knew existed.

It was a good day.  Just the break I need every week, and I am thankful for it.  I know it makes me a better Mom.

I think about my Mom and wonder how she worked full-time, raising three girls all by herself.  Seriously, how did she do that?  What a lightweight I am.  I also think about the moms that would LOVE to stay home with their sweet babies, but are unable to swing it financially.  What a brat I am.  And I think about the “career women” who choose to work and leave their kiddos with a caregiver.  And I think they SO have their shit together.  What a crazy woman I am!  (I warned you!)  I'm all over the place!

The truth is, no matter what we’re doing in this parenthood thing, the only thing that’s for sure is that it’s NEVER easy.  I’m pretty sure we all struggle to find the perfect balance.  I hope I’m getting close.

But at the end of the day, I’d trade sloppy kisses for makeup any day of the week; I love music class more than the kids; the jewels can wait; I’ll buy new shoes when I’m not chasing these seriously sweet kids around anymore; and anyone who knows me, knows I can text like a teenager – phone talking is WAY overrated!  So, I’m thinking life may not be all about me anymore (Good LORD!!!), but it’s a perfect life! 

An isolated bathroom break would be a good thing though!

I suppose it’s been about me long enough….hmmmm…is that possible?!  J

My Baby

I stroked my Little Man’s face as he woke up from nap today, looked at those beautiful eyes, long eyelashes and wiped a huge tear from that perfect, soft cheek, and wondered:  “Can ANYTHING be better than making a child feel loved?”

That baby must feel so deeply and unconditionally loved.  I would just die if I ever thought for one second he didn’t think that was the case.  I suppose the teenage years could be filled with plenty of moments of doubt for him.

Which gives me all the more reason to enjoy the toys all over the house, the dread of potty training Elmo this, Elmo that, the unexpected tantrums, piercing squeals, the never-ending use of the word “no” and all the joys of toddlerhood.

I love that crazy kid!!  J

The 100% Challenge

 So, I’ve not exactly been my usual chipper, positive, (newly calm), laid back self in the last two days.  I know this is because I haven’t been getting my “Amy Time” in the last week or so.  Okay, a little here and there, but as it relates to “Amy Time”, I am very high maintenance.  I like it, I love it, and I ALWAYS want some more of it!  J

So, for one thing, I was thinking, “I should read my blog for a quick fix.  That’ll make me feel better!”  Which I didn’t do, but it did make me happy to think that perhaps that would get me back to feeling myself again.  If I thought it may help me, then maybe it has helped someone else out there.  That’d be good!

But most importantly, I finally did stop this morning and try to clear the cobwebs.  It helped tremendously.  But, as I accepted the fact that I have failed to give this to myself on a daily basis, I just wondered, “Why?”  “Why can’t I do this every single day of my life?  Why can’t I devote one hour solely to myself, for myself, every day?”  Because the kids wake me up at 5am?  Probably.  But really?  What about naptime?  What about after they are in bed?  Because I’m so tired, I need to sleep then too?  Probably.  But, in all reality, if it was that important to me, and it is, I would make time for it.  Even if it comes in the form of 5 minute increments throughout the day, I need this.  Without it, I feel like I am running on about 60%.  Giving my husband, children, family, friends and the world 60% of me - getting back 60% from the world.  That’s just not good enough for me.

So here’s the challenge:  The 100% challenge!  I challenge you, as I challenge myself, to make sure you are giving 100% of yourself every day.  Show up for life.  Operate at 100% all the time.  Whatever that looks like for you, whatever that means for you, and however you get there.  Only you know that.  I know exactly what it means for me.  And I am committed to it.

Thank you!!!

Can I just ramble on today about how thankful I am, please?  Can I tell you how much I love my life?  I’m sure you’ve heard just how perfect I think my husband and kids are.  I don’t expect everyone else to think this, but I sure do. 

The other day someone told Luke he sure was cute, and Luke’s response was, “I know!!”  Terrible, right?  I was so embarrassed.  But there is just no way on God’s green earth I can stop telling these kids how wonderful they are 500 times a day, and I certainly don’t intend to.  We’ll just have to work a little harder on “thank you”!  J

I’m seriously not bragging when I speak of how awesome they are.  I had absolutely nothing to do with it.  I was merely a vessel to get them on the planet.  They look nothing like me and they were definitely born as sweet and perfect as they are, obviously.  I take zero credit.  My job is just not to screw them up.  Surely telling them (and anyone else who will listen) how wonderful they are won’t screw them up!

Anyway, I am so thankful – for them, for my life and for everyone in it.  Yes, everyone…..I’m clearly having quite a good day, because normally I would exclude a couple people form that!!  LOL!

And that, my friends, is the power of attitude.  Ahhhhhhhhhhh……

Friday Morning Lesson From an Angel

I kid you not, I dreamt about sleep last night.  I woke up at 5:08am to the sweet sound of my Lil’ Girl crying for some bottle!!  I don’t think I had moved all night long.  You know those nights.  And I was having the most vivid dream of myself sleeping.  How funny (and sad) is that!??!!  It was so wonderful.  Few things are better to me than sleep. 

I love my sleep.  I miss my sleep.  I need my sleep.  I’m gonna get me some sleep!  This weekend.  Sunday morning to be exact.  I pity the fool that wakes me up!  LOL! 

Anyway, Lyla woke up Luke, then Luke woke up Lyla again...long story short - 5:08am was destined to be my wake up call this morning.  I got both kids and crawled back in bed, praying that Barney would be especially magnetic to these little baby brains today. 

Barney let me down. 

I cleared the cobwebs and managed to crawl out of bed - husband bringing me a perfectly made latte, and Luke screaming "Get up, Mommy!  Get up, Mommy!!" 

Why must this be so hard??  I used to be good at this 5am thing!!  I used to CHOOSE this??!!!  

But I pulled it together and got the crew fed, dressed, and packed up for the day; I got Lyla back down for a nap, folded half a load of laundry, did the dishes, gave my hubby a haircut, and managed a shower before school, which is rare.  So, we're loading up for school.  I'm rushing, as usual.  And Luke is taking his sweet little time.....just lolly-gagging away....slowly climbing into his car seat, stopping to grab funny looking crumbs off the floor of the truck and waving bye to Jesse one last time.  Painfully slowly.  Painfully!!!

And just as I felt the uneasiness and frustration that now accompanies my witnessing anyone doing anything at a snails pace, I caught myself.  "Oh, Momma!  Stop right there," I thought to myself.  "Here is another lesson from your little cutie pie of a teacher."  It was as if he said to me, "SLOOOOOOOW down, Momma.  What's the big deal?"

And there it was. 

I stopped, kissed the 2nd softest cheeks God ever put on Earth (Lyla's are first), and gave him a little tickle.  He gave me a sweet look and a little giggle,(I swear I tried so hard to push the pause button right there in that moment!!)  The look said, "I like you much better like that, Mommy.  Don't rush me, please."

I got in the driver's seat and drove to school through tear-filled eyes, completely in awe at how many wonderful things this one beautiful, two year old little boy can encompass, and the things he can teach me...if I will only listen.

Homework Assignment: Complete!

Yesterday I attended the first of four meetings to discuss the book, The Conscious Parent, which I highly recommend.

Part of our homework after the meeting was to watch yourself for “triggers” with your children to see a) what it is that triggers you, and b) how you handle it.  Would I be able to stop, take a deep breath, surrender my desire/need to control to my Higher Source (God) and deal with it constructively?

As it turns out, yes.  I did just that. 

Wow!!  I have to say, I was very proud of myself.  And I also have to say - it wasn’t easy!  Nonetheless, I did it.  And I am continuing to do it today.  I’m doing awesome… 5pm isn’t here yet, but I’m doing great!!

I think I mentioned before that something that continues to come up for me is that I need to slow down.  Slow down, slow down, slow down!!!  And I realized (finally) that half the reason I couldn’t stop, take a breath, feel whatever uneasiness I may be feeling and surrender it, was because how can you do that when you’re going 100 miles an hour??  There’s no time!!  You just REACT without even giving it a thought. 

I wasn’t thinking about what I was doing until it had already been done.  Whether it was raising my voice, an unreasonable thinking time (time out), playing referee, telling the kids to go to the playroom or what have you - I didn’t think about it until it was done, at which time I felt completely guilty for not setting a good example as to how to deal with your frustration.  Now keep in mind, I try to TEACH Luke how to deal with his frustration every day.  I always say, “Take a deep breath, baby, and ask for help.”  But here I am doing that about half the time, as the old saying, "Do as I say, not as I do” reverberates through my head!

C-c-c-crazzzzy!!!!  I guess it would be crazier if I didn’t recognize it!  J

Ahhhhhh…..all that to say, this is a really good, much needed lesson for me that will likely continue until my kids are 30 years old or longer.  But for today, I just want to make it through the circus act we call “dinner."

It’s a process.

And I’m thinking I hear y’all cheering for me!!  Thank you!  J

My little irrational teachers...

I thought it was just the greatest thing in the world that I was having my kids at an older age (“advanced maternal age,” Gag!!), because I would be so much wiser and really have my s*#! together, so to speak.  And I really tried to have it all together before I had kids.  Really tried.  And I was quite confident.

Well, someone was grossly delusional!  I personally have NEVER had anything rock my world quite like having kids!!  Seriously.  Major adjustment.  Totally worth it - MAJOR adjustment.

Anyway, it occurred to me today, I don’t think God means for us to have it all together before we have kids.  (And quite frankly, I think it’s impossible.)  I think He really designed this whole thing to make us grow even more than we ever could have imagined once they are here.  I am amazed at how much my children teach me – without even trying – every day!  It’s amazing.

These little pure, perfect souls that make us love in a way we never even thought humanly possible, who make us crazier than we ever could have imagined, are our teachers.  These little cavemen to whom we are teaching to walk, talk, count, be polite, use inside voices, be respectful, share with their friends, blah, blah, blah, are teaching us the really good stuff…the really good stuff.

I think that’s cool.  And I’m thankful for it.  Even when, as my dear friend would say, “it’s as hard as dried dog food,” I am thankful for it!

Life is a classroom, and they are my teachers. 

What cute little teachers I have!!  J

My sister...

...is especially on my mind and in my heart today, even more than usual.  She is THE single most phenomenal woman I've ever known...right up there with my beautiful Mom.  They are probably both the reason I'm so hard on myself as a mother.  But that's obviously a good thing. 

Seventeen years ago today she married the love of her life, and the most wonderful man I, or any of us for that matter, had ever known.  College sweethearts, love at first sight, complete and total adoration for each other...every time you saw them together they illustrated the love that most people experience only in the beginning.  Every day was a gift, a new day to be together.  My heart smiles just thinking about it; and I know hers does, too.

She is without him now, although I know he is with her and their beautiful, sweet, loving boys every day.  She does the most amazing job raising those boys.  I seriously marvel at her.  (And she doesn't read my blog, so I'm not over-exaggerating for her sake!)  I could go on and on and on, but really, there is no way to put it into words. 

She is a blessing to me and everyone that knows her.  She shines.  Brightly.  All the time. 

My sister! 

Slow down, woman!

I just want to slow down.  I really do. 

If I slow down, won't this all last a little longer? 

That's what I want. 

Why can't I have that?

I think I can.

Oh wait!  It's because I have a 2 year old that never sits still, EVER!!! EVER!!!!  And a 9 month old who is following quickly behind. 

Nevermind.

Finally!!

I stood there dripping wet in my bath towel as Miss Kaela took little Lyla away for her morning nap.  She was crying for her Mommy, which made me smile.  I actually uttered the words, “She finally LOVES me!”


And yes, I realize that is ridiculous on so many levels.  I don’t know what to say except that I said exactly what was in my heart at that moment.  I suppose, even if it comes in the form of hearing your sweet baby cry, it always feels good to be loved. 

We spend a lot of time as parents loving our children.  Someone so very dear to me has said to me MANY times, “Love is not a noun, it’s a VERB!!”  Never have I known it to be so true until I had my children.  Whooooa!!!!!  Could there be any truer statement?  Think about it….

I am missing them today.  Much more than usual, and if I’m honest (and I always will be!), there were times when I did NOT miss my kids while I was at work.  Go ahead.  Think I’m terrible.  You’ll get over yourself.  But it is true.  So my point is:  I am doing better with my balance….much better.

I am more than sure there will be many more days when I don’t miss my kids while I’m at work.  That’s just who I am.  And there was a time when I would have apologized for that.  That time has passed.  It doesn’t make me a bad Mom.  It doesn’t make me a bad person.  I just like my space.  I like time for me.  And finally, I don’t think this makes me the absolute worst Mom in the history of mankind.  Finally, I don’t feel guilty about that.

But for today, for this moment (which could quite possibly change the second I hit the door), I want to get home to my babies.  And when I get there, I really, really, REALLY want to push the pause button. 

Super Fun!!

Wow!!  It’s quiet in my house right now.  This is so rare.  The boys are at Dunkin Donuts and my Baby Girl is playing happily in the other room.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhh…..if my house were always this quiet, I’d be blogging all the time!!  I can actually think!!  J 

I’ve kinda realized I always have something to say.  Apparently that should not have come as such a surprise to me, according to the hubs that is!  LOL!  Yea, he probably has a point.

Anyway, today is the last day of this Spring Break thing.  Luke doesn’t go back to school until Wednesday, but I’m working tomorrow and busy all day Tuesday.  So, I can’t believe it, but I’m sad.  I’m not a mean Mommy and I LOVE these kids to death (surely I don’t have to clarify that!!), but I really thought I’d be DYING for him to get back to school just from utter exhaustion if nothing else.  It turns out….not so much!

So, there are two things to which I can attribute this, and you’re reading one of them.  I seriously think this blog is therapeutic.  Is that possible?  It’s not that I have an outlet.  I have friends (Thank God!  I love y’all, I love y’all, I love y’all!!)….one of which I text all day about this Mommyhood thing.  It’s reciprocal.  Not sure what we’d do without each other, and don’t plan on finding out!!  But I think it’s because it holds me accountable and makes me more conscious as a parent.  There is no way I am going to get on this computer and moan and groan and complain every day (like I do to said friend)!!  So, I think about things as I go along.  Almost like being on camera, but without anybody all up in my space.

And the second thing is, like I said before, I just went into this week with a totally different attitude.  “It is going to be a great week.  I will be patient.  I will be patient.  I will be patient!!”  I am a HUGE believer in getting back what you put out there.  I put the positive vibes out there and boy, they came back even bigger!!

That makes me smile! 

Now, off we go to do something SUPER FUN!!!!!!!!!

Spring Break

Spring Break has been a good week.  I thought I’d struggle because I’ve become so spoiled by having Little Man in preschool, leaving me to care for only one child all day on Monday and on Friday mornings.  That’s a nice break to which I have become accustomed.  But it’s been awesome, and I think because it was labeled with the word “break,” I actually took one.  J

There was no pressure to do anything.  We stayed home a good bit, which is VERY unlike us.  No rushing to get out the door every morning for whatever activity or play date we may have. 

We have filled our days with songs, laughs, books and making messes…snuggles, sloppy kisses, lunches with Daddy and cowboy boots!  We’ve had visits from good friends, squealing contests, wagon rides, swimming, peek-a-boo and Mom’s Night Out!  If it was silly, we did it!

There are shoes all over the house, the bed’s not made and the laundry is a mile high.  That’s pretty much always the case, but I usually care.  Not this week!

I’ve been in playmate mode all week.  I felt more like their aunt than their mom.  Nothing mattered but them.   And while I know I’ll have to go back to wearing 20 hats and spreading myself paper thin, it sure has been fun.  The kids will never remember it, but I will never forget it.

A lesson I’m really glad I learned on our first spring break and not our last!

She Was Right….Again!!!

So, am I the only one who has a drastically reduced tolerance for completely unaware people since becoming a parent!? 

I’m thinking not!

Seriously, I am sooooo much more selective about with whom we spend our time.  I truly believe that all people put off a certain energy.  And the negative energy…I’m just not feeling it.

I used to be fine with spending time with people with a less than positive energy.  My thought process was that I could pretty much bounce back from anything and keep myself in check.  I would make friends with almost ANYONE, pointing out their redeeming qualities and completely overlooking the negative.  To a fault.   My sister always told me I possessed this quality, but it really never clicked with me until I had children.  “They’re a lot more likely to bring you down than you are to bring them up,” she would say.

Now, I find myself crossing over to the other side of the fence all together.  I really feel strongly that I don’t want my children around negative, clueless people.  I realize that I cannot protect them from everything and everybody.  But aren’t they going to come across enough people and circumstances like this in life without their own parents subjecting them to it?  It is our job to protect them.  I want them to know the difference and equip them with the ability to make solid judgments on their own.  When they encounter people like this, I want it to feel strange to them, not normal.

And what do you do when these encounters simply cannot be avoided?

I really struggle with this.  There is only a very fine line between teaching your child compassion for others and guarding themselves.

I’m thinking my sister had a point.

It wouldn’t be the first time - and it surely won’t be the last!!

Oh yea, Momma!

Okay, my "Lil Girl" (as we like to call her) is wicked strong!  Seriously, she is.  She's crawling and pulling up all over the place.  She stands there and balances for like 5 seconds!  I know I'm her mother, but I happen to think that is extraordinary!!  J  My Little Man didn't even consider walking until he was 14 months old!!

Now, I know all kids are different and do all this stuff in their own time, but it just got me to thinking about something my Mom has ALWAYS told me and I now know to be the truth:  Women are soooooooooooo much stronger than men!!  LOL!  Seriously though!!  (Sorry guys!!)

This obviously is not based solely on my Baby Girls ability to do things before her big, precious angel of a brother!  I have proven the theory myself (which we won't go into) and so has pretty much every other woman I know.  But I did find it quite interesting that we're possibly BORN that way!  I think that's pretty cool!

Clearly, God knew what He was doing, making us the Mommies of these sweet babies!  LOL!

Happy Friday!!  J

I Love My Framily!

It's not a spelling error.

We live a VERY long way from our family.  It’s our choice.  This is where we’ve chosen to live, work and raise our sweet family.  But I probably don’t have to tell most of you how difficult that can be A LOT of the time…especially with kids!!  We miss them, they miss us, the kids are missing their grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.  Makes me terribly sad!  Not to mention the fact that you have to pay a sitter when you need to go do something as simple as a 20 minute haircut.  Ridiculous!!

It can be a lonely feeling to look around and look for the faces that are a reflection of you, the people that have known you forever, to whom you never have to explain anything, because they just know.  You know the feeling. 

However, tonight when my closest friend texted me to tell me something about her sweet baby, I cried as I felt her pain as a mother and friend, and I panicked because I love her child so much.  My heart hurt for them.  Then it occurred to me…we're not without our family.  Just the family we've always had.

They are our friends.

 

They are our family.

They are our framily!  And we are blessed!  J

And My Heart Smiles

Something pretty cool happened today. 

I have two very clear God-given gifts:  my overwhelming desire to make every child feel special and unquestionably loved, and my ability to make pretty much any interior space look really good with very little effort.  God-given.  I take zero credit.  But, knowing this about myself, I have always said I would love to create really great spaces for under-privileged children who otherwise wouldn’t have such…pro bono.

   

I could never really get my hands around what this would look like, and really placed it on the back-burner as a goal, thinking that I’d get around to that after I become rich and famous!  J  But it has been on my list FOR YEARS!  Like 15 years I’d say, at least.

Today I got a call from Youth Haven.  For those of you who don’t know Youth Haven, it is an emergency shelter for abused, abandoned and neglected children.  The only one in Collier County.  They have requested my assistance for the interior of the children’s living quarters…the common area as I understand it.  I have an appointment with them next Wednesday. 

My heart is smiling.  My whole body is smiling!!  They are so happy that I am willing to do this for them free of charge.  But they have no idea how happy they have made me. 

One more dream come true, marked off the list!!

Thanks God!!  You never fail me!

A Good Day!

Today has been a good day.  A really good day!  One of those days where you just want to push the pause button because you KNOW, no matter how many good (or bad) days you have, you will NEVER get these precious moments back.

I (finally) know that the degree of just how good a day we are having depends so much more on ME than on the kids.  They're pretty much always the same, give or take a belly ache or a new tooth or something like that.  They're little souls haven't been polluted with the need to control yet.  They can want.  They can be demanding.  They can throw a tantrum that makes you consider not claiming them if you're in a public place.  But they are certainly not ATTACHED to the need to control like we are...they don't care where they poop, squeal, run, drop food, spill milk, fall asleep, or anything else.

So, I've realized, that if I can let go of my attachment to everything going perfectly, or as planned at the very least, we always seem to have a much better day.  The problem for me is:  I am not (by nature) a very flexible person.  I'm a bit of a control freak.  I have always been fine with that, thinking that my way is the best way.  And, I must say, that has never really failed me.  It has served me quite well.  Until now.  Now I have these little people who really don't care what I think...or how I want the day to go, or whether or not I got to shave my legs, dry my hair, or have an actual conversation that lasted more than 6 seconds before some type of crashing interruption.

That's my new goal.  To slow down, chill out, stay calm, get flexible and take it all in.  Because someday I won't care if our day went as planned, I'll just wish I had it back.

Here goes!

So, here we go…! 

This is my attempt to be your “hopeful voice.” 

I am a 38 year old mother of two, an 8 month old daughter and a 2 year old son.  I am a stay at home mom; I have everything I’ve ever wanted…lacking a little bit in the sanity department on some (okay, MOST) days, but I truly have it all.  You know the drill:  kids, dog, a loving and faithful husband, health, the means to do most of whatever we want, a beautiful home, etc., etc.  But I find myself wanting MORE…

{ As my Little Man’s voice reverberates through my head, “more, more, more, more…”  J }

Maybe it’s contagious.  Maybe the grass is always greener on the other side.  Maybe I’m a spoiled rotten brat who just always wants more!  Or maybe, just maybe, I give so much, I need more for me.  Not the mani, pedi, day at the spa kind of stuff.  I need more.  Oddly enough, I need to GIVE more.  Sighhhhh….what an oxymoron.  But there it is!  It’s really that simple.  I need to GIVE more.

I love my kids.  I adore my kids.  I’ve waited my whole life to be their Mommy, stay home with them, teach them their ABC’s, how to count, to sit and color with them and all that.  But as it turns out, my life looks nothing like that.  It’s kinda crazy around our house!  (Giggle, giggle!  I really do love it!)  But I am not completely fulfilled the way I thought I’d be.  Anyone who has known me a long while is just as shocked by this as I am.

So, this is the beginning of my journey.  Not really.  There has been so much that has led up to this.  But that’s for another day…I digress.  Let’s say, this is the beginning of my public journey.  And there are butterflies in my stomach as I hunt and peck each letter.  Because I now consider this my responsibility.  I know there is so much in store for me.  I know I have a lot of lives to touch.  I know I have a lot more children in this world to make happy than just my own, and NOTHING brings me greater joy than that.  This is the start of my “more.”  (Thank you Little Man!!)

It starts now.  Please come along for the ride.  I’ll probably need a cheerleader or two.  I’ve got a lot of work to do….