Part of our homework after the meeting was to watch yourself for “triggers” with your children to see a) what it is that triggers you, and b) how you handle it. Would I be able to stop, take a deep breath, surrender my desire/need to control to my Higher Source (God) and deal with it constructively?
As it turns out, yes. I did just that. Wow!! I have to say, I was very proud of myself. And I also have to say - it wasn’t easy! Nonetheless, I did it. And I am continuing to do it today. I’m doing awesome… 5pm isn’t here yet, but I’m doing great!!
I think I mentioned before that something that continues to come up for me is that I need to slow down. Slow down, slow down, slow down!!! And I realized (finally) that half the reason I couldn’t stop, take a breath, feel whatever uneasiness I may be feeling and surrender it, was because how can you do that when you’re going 100 miles an hour?? There’s no time!! You just REACT without even giving it a thought.
I wasn’t thinking about what I was doing until it had already been done. Whether it was raising my voice, an unreasonable thinking time (time out), playing referee, telling the kids to go to the playroom or what have you - I didn’t think about it until it was done, at which time I felt completely guilty for not setting a good example as to how to deal with your frustration. Now keep in mind, I try to TEACH Luke how to deal with his frustration every day. I always say, “Take a deep breath, baby, and ask for help.” But here I am doing that about half the time, as the old saying, "Do as I say, not as I do” reverberates through my head!
C-c-c-crazzzzy!!!! I guess it would be crazier if I didn’t recognize it! J
Ahhhhhh…..all that to say, this is a really good, much needed lesson for me that will likely continue until my kids are 30 years old or longer. But for today, I just want to make it through the circus act we call “dinner."
It’s a process.
And I’m thinking I hear y’all cheering for me!! Thank you! J
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